I have this problem of taking things and making them much worst then what they should be. I was so upset of the Hunter thing and honestly I still am but I'm getting over it.
Chris and I are dating now and I'm so happy. I adore Chris so much but I have this constant thought in the back of my head that were not right for each other and I cant help but think that's because of Hunter.
I hate how much control this boy has over me. I cant breathe and instantly go into shut down mode whenever he's around. I miss him so much. I was talking to Eugene about it yesterday and I honestly hope that one day I can look back at this as a learning experience or something but right now I'm dying inside.
It's not fair for me to treat Chris this way. I feel like a horrible girlfriend because I'm lusting and dreaming of another man. Don't get me wrong, I like Chris. I like Hunter more though. Chris knows that I had problems with Hunter but I don't think he fully understands how bad they are.
I've begin to let if affect my relationship. My stress level is at an all time high which in return has made me really short with Chris. Him and I are actually on a distance kick right now. He pissed me off yesterday so I made him leave. Now were taking a few days off from each other.
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