It always amazes me with how merely a couple of minutes can change everything. A week ago I wrote my mother, grandma, and father a letter that I planned on giving them right before I left. Within the last few days my mother and I have been fine and I just talked to my grandma and she seems ok. I don't know. I still think I'm going to give them the letters but the after effects probably wont be as extreme. I had plans of staying with Knub during Christmas break and not going to my grandmas or mothers house.
Distance and time has always been my greatest assets and I think it would just help everyone if I disappeared for awhile. My family gave up on me this summer and that left me relying and creating a new family. Its amazing the new kind of perspective that your given when things change. You truly realize what you have and who to be thankful for.
I still love my family dont get me wrong but its hard to be around someone when you know at any moment they can just drop you. I never cared much for the saying that blood was thicker then water. This summer just proved that it was stupid. I'm not going to put the full blame on my family because I guess in a small part it was also my fault. I guess at some intervals I did disrespect my mom and I didn't help out around the house. BUT was the really a reason to disown me?
I've been left with new questions that I will struggle to answer for a long time. I have new understandings and new problems now that I am left to deal with. My ability to trust people is not really existent. Anyone can promise you something and screw you over. So yes, time will help but at some point I'm going to have to do something on my own.
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