Venting For A Moment

I don't want to write alot of personal stuff on here but every once in a while I think i'm going to have to do a vent post or something.

I'm trying to get back into more drawing and reading like I use to do. I keep thinking about my tattoo "Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality" I got that to remind me not to take things to seriously. One of the things that always made me dream was reading. I love the places it can take and you the dreams that it can give you. Since I started college thing got to serious. I never left room to dream.

So there was this huge thing with me trying to make sure that Dylan came back to school. I'm pretty sure that he's coming back, knock on wood, but I don't know. Somethings changed between us now. I still love the kid don't get me wrong, but I don't think I'm in love with him. I said from day one that I didn't want to be with him and I meant it, but now I know I don't want to be with him. I think I decided this the other day when me and him were talking about his new girl but for the most part I'm ready to get out and find me my own guy.

Speaking of guys, what the fuck is up with them lately. Jordan is no longer Jordan. He's changed to the point of me not even wanting to have him as a friend. He just pisses me off so much. The there's Eric. You know I'm starting to think that this mans in line with Hunter. Both of them are shady bastards. Granted Hunter was straight up with the fact that he wanted to just hook up. Eric never really wanted that, he wanted to date but then he started to disappear.

I keep thinking about school. This years going to be very different I have a feeling. Everyone's dating someone, I have to put more of a focus into school and in general I think its just going to be a really matured kind of feel. I'm ready for it. Honestly this has been one of the longest, most boring summers of my life and I can't wait to get back to having fun people to hang out with. I miss the random bull shit that we always did. I miss having people who cared and listened. I miss all the intellectual conversations. God I miss that the most. Seriously so many people think that they can hold a conversation about something smart like healthcare reform or a new law that's passed. Honestly they can't. I go to a school where on a daily basis I have to write papers about this stuff and do research papers on it. I know what I'm talking about and it makes me so mad when someone says I'm wrong. I've just gotten to the point where I don't even argue with them. My moms the worst when it comes to this. I hate to say it but intellectually I've surpasses my mother and stimulating conversations with her are hard to come by.

Alright then theirs the current problems of my dad. For the last year I've been telling myself that I'm over all the stuff that my dad did. Recently though my Philosophy teacher asked me to write a bio of my life for a project. I've been working on it slowly and most recently got to the subject of my parents divorce. The more I write the more I realize that I'm not over it. I'm still really mad at  him. It actually disgust me to see him and talk to him still. His immature attitude is what kills me the most. I don't feel like I have a right to be mad him though. he's done so much for me this last year that I know I should be grateful but in all honesty it still doesn't change anything.