I'm caught in a weird sort of place in my life right now. Everything that I once thought was important is beginning to lose its meaning to me. At one point in my life I would of sworn my loyalties to my friends and thought nothing of it. My high importance of Dylan has been made small and almost unimportant. Within the last few days Dylan and I have been talking and I keep finding myself getting more and more shitty at him. A long time ago me and him talked about how we can't be in relationships because we realize someones flaws and focus on them so much that they ruin the relationship. I think that's finally happened which is weird because I never thought it could happen with him.
The significant impact the Jordan's had on my life is monumental. The realization that are friendship like it use to be is now coming to an end kinda hurts. I loved Jordan and I still do. He's changed from the man I fell in love with to this stranger that he's in love with. I told him from day one many years ago that before everything else I am his friend and no matter how much it hurt this is the time when I have to be his friend. My Buzbee is gone, this new guys is here and I've just got to get use to him because he's not going anywhere.
I'm stuck between being excited and being nervous for going back to school. Theirs a high probability that Dylan won't be coming back and to be honest I think I've accepted that and i think that I will be ok with that. It's Holly that I'm nervous for and to be honest theirs a higher probability that she wont be able to come back then Dylan. Either this year is going to work out in some way and be great or its going to be a very boring struggle.
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