In a small part of my mind I know that I'm being a hypocrite towards Nate and Dylan. Last year I drank in the dorms but not quite like they are. I took a shot here and there but for the most part I drank off campus and that's something I always stress to people is that if your going to drink then you need to do it off of campus. These last few days Dylan has been drinking everyday doing shots and actually going to class drunk. I don't know it just doesn't sit right with me and I don't want him to get caught and kicked out.
In other news I'm going home to Logan here in a week or so to see Knub and Bob. I think I might bring Nick back with me so he can spend the week up here with my friends and I. I miss that boy so much and after everything he's been through lately I think its time for him to have a change of scenery. I was talking to my dad earlier and I think next year I'm going to live off of campus with my brother up here in Manchester and I'm going to help him try and get his life straightened out.
Schools ok so far I guess. I'm so in love with my job that its crazy. My friends are great but I cant get over the feeling that something is missing in my life. I keep trying to compensate for it with other things but so far nothing is working. I started seeing Hunter again and I cant help but think that it was a mistake. I don't want to get hurt but it looks like im already beginning to. This isn't something I can really share with my friend since there all against me seeing him anyway. Whatever, to each there own.
Its been decided that I am going to Dylan's house for thanksgiving. Hopefully ill be able to handle that. I'm not invited to my own family holiday events and it just feels weird and wrong to make my way into other peoples families. I just wish I had my own normal one. Sigh.
Well its two in the morning and I have to be up here in a few hours of work. I think im gonna head off to bed here in a few but I might do one more lap first. Night.
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